We frequently mention that parents should be in close communication with their child’s teachers, for a variety of reasons: to ensure your child is making good progress in their educational development, to provide at-home support for any areas where they need improvement, and for a variety of admissions-related benefits, including better understanding the type of educational environment that your child is a fit for. 

That said, we recognize that many parents don’t know exactly how they ought to be in touch with their child’s teachers. As with everything in parenting, you’re doing this for the first time! So, we’ve gathered recommendations from our Admit NY experts (the majority of which have been educators at some point in their career) about how parents can best communicate with their child’s teachers. We recommend following these tips to both make sure that you’re getting high-quality information, and that you’re respecting teachers’ time and making it easy for them to help you! 

Tips for Talking to Your Child’s Teachers

These best practices can help you have the most stress-free interactions with your child’s teachers: 

• Open a friendly line of communication early in the school year: Your first conversation(s) with your child’s teachers don’t need to be long discussions; just make it clear early in the school year that you want to be involved in your student’s education and create a partnership with their teacher(s). Try to form an actual relationship - like a friendship, but a bit more professional! - with teachers, to make it comfortable for them to share honestly with you over the course of the year. 
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• Time check-ins right: If you’re going to reach out to your child’s teacher, the best way is to send them an email. They can respond to your message at a time that works best for them, and may be willing to schedule a call during school hours or shortly before/after. You can also ask your child’s teacher at the start of the year how they prefer to be contacted; some teachers might prefer different methods, and you should do your best to adhere to their preferences. Do your best to avoid reaching out to teachers on evenings and weekends (respect their out-of-school lives!), and also minimize impromptu check-ins during mornings or afternoons at drop-off and pick-up. Those times of day are often hectic for teachers, and it’s not the best moment to have a thoughtful conversation about your child’s development. 
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• Ask for check-in calls, or actively participate in existing check-ins offered by the school: Many schools automatically arrange parent-teacher conferences and/or check-in calls between teachers and parents, usually beginning in the fall. Always take these opportunities to get insight into your child’s education! If your school doesn’t offer these opportunities, take it upon yourself to reach out to your child’s teacher(s) and set them up. These conversations can help you understand your child’s strengths and what they need to work on. 
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• Don’t ask about other children: Teachers shouldn’t, and usually won’t, talk about other children’s specific behaviors with you unless they specifically involve your child. Keep your conversations with your child’s teachers focused on your child and their learning. Similarly, don’t ask teachers to “rank” your child or otherwise compare their academic progress to their peers. Teachers can share, in detail, how your child stacks up to expectations for their grade level or development milestones, but usually won’t be willing to offer direct comparisons to the rest of your child’s class - and that’s a good thing! 
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• Respect teachers’ expertise: Teachers are experts in childhood development and education. One of the best ways to create a trusting relationship with your child’s teachers is to value their expertise - that means listening openly and doing your best to hold back any defensiveness. Even if you ultimately conclude that a teacher’s insights aren’t totally correct (but usually they are!), listen respectfully and value that the teacher came to you with these perspectives. Also keep in mind that many children behave very differently at school versus at home, so just because you’re not seeing certain behaviors, strengths, or weaknesses doesn’t mean the teacher doesn’t notice them at school! 
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What to Ask Your Child’s Teachers

Beyond logistics of how to form a relationship and when to reach out to teachers, you may be wondering what you should actually ask to yield the highest-quality information about your child’s learning. The following questions are helpful for your general understanding of your child’s growth, but can also be particularly helpful if you’re seeking input from a teacher about what type of educational environment might be best for your child’s next step (if you’re gearing up for the admissions process for a new school): 

For older children, or children of any age:

• What are their favorite activities in the classroom? 
• What are their academic strengths? 
• What are their academic weaknesses/opportunities for improvement? 
• Do they contribute often to classroom discussions? 
• Do you see any reason why they may struggle to transition to their next grade? 
  

For younger children:

• Can they follow multi-step directions?
• Do they easily transition from one activity to another? 
• Do they sustain attention during group meetings or activities? 
• Do they exhibit frustration in the classroom? What are the common causes? 
• Do they adjust their behavior to match the needs of the room - for example, are they silly when it’s time to be silly, but can adjust and be serious when it’s time to be serious? 
• Do they share well with other students? 
• Can they incorporate others’ play ideas?
• Does their speech, fine motor skills, and/or gross motor skills seem age-appropriate? 
• Do they do better in open-ended play or with teacher-led activities? 
• Do they tend to lead or follow play?
  

Keep these tips and questions in mind as you attempt to form a relationship with your child’s teacher(s). These relationships always pay off - it’s a good idea to incorporate a teacher’s expertise into your child’s journey! 

Approaching a school transition and seeking support in the admissions process? We’re here for you. Reach out today to learn more about Admit NY’s comprehensive admissions advising services.